Best divorce letter ever
I’m writing this letter to tell u that I’m leaving you. I’ve been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and u didn’t even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn’t tell me u love me anymore, u didn’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don’t love me anymore. Whatever the case, I’m gone….YOUR EX-WIFEP.S. Don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!….
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was ‘you look just like a boy!’. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven’t eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won’t get a dollar from me. So take care…
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told u this, but my brother CARL was born CARLA. 😛 .I hope that’s not a problem 😛